A Quick Announcement from Tom… and Vince

“Hey, Vince?” Tom stood in front of the gathered crowd nervously. He didn’t like being around the nameless background characters; mostly because they were literally faceless. They may as well have been meat puppets, he thought.

Vince had called them out for an announcement, but he neglected to tell Tom about it. This made Tom angry, which in conjunction with his uneasiness around the faceless ones made him even more on edge. Worse, it made him sweat like a hog in heat. “Vince?? Dammit, Vince, get the fuck out here and tell us what the fuck is-

“Yeah Tom?” Tom turned around and saw Vince in a Dracula costume. “Uhm… Vince? Halloween is over…”

“Not according to the Simpsons’ calendar,” Vince said, tapping his watch.

Tom scoffed. “What, we’re going by the fucking SIMPSONS?! We gonna start murdering homeless people for ratings, too?”

Vince looked down in shame. “My second-best friend was homeless. When he saw that episode where Homer pretended to be homeless, he hung himself.”

“Yeah,” Tom looked angrily at the viewers, hoping to heaven one of them was Simpsons creator Matt Groening. “Shame on you, Simpsons. Fucking limousine liberal pricks.”

Vince then got to the point. “Television politics aside, I gathered all of you today to announce the


Tom was taken aback by that sora stylized announcement. “Whoa! We’re having a Halloween special?!”

“YES, TOM! WE- oh sorry, still got announcer voice there…” After clearing his throat, he continued. “We’re sorry that we haven’t released our third episode, and to make it up, we will be having three- count em, THREE- short minid-episodes based around the previous holiday. There will be one with Morty, our lovely lady of all things death and dying…”

“OOH, scintillating!!” Tom interjected.

“One with us, your main… uh, I guess we could be called ‘heroes’…”

“Gotta cheer for something,” said Tom. “May as well be us!”

“…Aaaand in the third episode, we’ll be having some CELEBRITY guests!!”

“[copyrighted to other people, please don’t sue]” Tom did his best impression of a legal contract, then went back in character and said, “Holy fuck, Vince! How will we do ALL of that in one month?”

“You have any idea how long a month is?” Vince announced. “It’s thirty days or more, dumbass!”

Tom laughed. “Well, guess we got some work to do!”

“Yes, we do!” Vince then addressed the viewing audience. “If you wanna see these mini-episodes, go to


And we will have one released every week!”

“WOW, what a tight schedule!” Tom remarked. “You think that lazy asshole who writes for us will be able to get his shit together in time??”

“I guess we’ll have to find out!” Vince responded. “The first mini ep will take place next Tuesday and be updated weekly! Tune on in, everyone!”

Tom and Vince waved and both ended with “Till next time!!”

Published by dustyplz

A thirty-something from PA. Lives with his father and pet cat (Captain Admiral President Ninja Master Snuggy). Works part-time as a grocery clerk with the standard greater aspirations of not being a grocery clerk. Writes short stories and poetry when time permits. Other interests include reading, playing video games and revolution.

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